The Red Squirrel (episode)/Transcript
Scene I: Escape Tunnel Inside the penguins HQ, a hole was in one of the walls. Skipper: (Echo) Kowalski, progress report. Rico was digging dirt out of the way with a spoon and had a glowing stick stuck on his head with gum. Skipper, Kowalski, and Private were looking at a map on the floor. Glowing sticks were stuck on the ceiling so they can see. Kowalski: Nearing completion on escape tunnel number fifteen Skipper. Private: Isn't this a bit overly cautious? Skipper: Even better, full-blown paranoia. Private: No. I mean we already have fourteen escape tunnels. Isn't that enough? Skipper: Manfreedi and Johnson thought so. What was left of them came home in a manila envelope. Kowalski: From Manila, ironically. Skipper: There's no such thing as too paranoid, Private. Remember that, then forget you ever heard it. Skipper starts waving his flippers around Private, hoping that Private would be hypnotized. Private: Um, I don't think that works the way you think it... Skipper inturrupts him, still trying to hypnotize Private. Skipper: Eyes on the flipper. Suddenly, they hear a big bang from where Rico is. Rico screams when his spoon gets stuck and the spoon starts flinging Rico up and down. Finally he lets go of the spoon and falls to the ground. Kowalski: Man down! Private: Rico! They run over to Rico to see if he's OK. Rico shakes his head from the dizziness. Kowalski makes Rico sit up a little bit to see how he is. Kowalski: His brain appears to be functioning at... Um... Let's call it "normal capacity". Skipper: What happened? I thought we mapped this tunnel? Kowalski lets go of Rico's head and Rico falls over again. Kowalski walks over to the spoon and takes it out of the wall. Kowalski: I'm not sure. This wall shouldn't be... Kowalski gasps and let's go of the spoon. A hatch with animal pictures and an arrow twister is seen. Kowalski: A vintage passcode lock. Skipper walks over to Kowalski with a glowing stick. Skipper: Excellent work, Kowalski. But can you open it? Kowalski looks at the lock. Kowalski: Well, it is state-of-the-art, hyper-encryption technology... He turns towards the others. Kowalski: Pfft! ...from nineteen-sixty-three! Kowalski starts to unlock it. He turns the arrow to an animal and an animal noice comes from the picture. Kowalski first turns the arrow to a duck which quacks. After that he turns the arrow to a cow which moos. After that he turns the arrow to the horse which whinnies. Then he pulls the string in the center and then the hatch unlocks. Kowalski: Nailed it. Skipper: Move in cautiously, men. Rico, ominous background music. They walk into the room in defensive poses while Rico does ominous background noises. Scene II: Buck Rockgut's Underground Base They enter a dirty room, looking around while and find a radio playing ominous background music to the same tune that Rico was doing. They see someone far across the romm who suddenly turned off the radio and looked at them. It was a rock hopper penguin. The penguin ran over to them and grabbed Rico. Private: Rico! Buck Rockgut: Crackerjack, what's the code word? Rico babbles and things again and then babbles once more. Buck Rockgut: Lucky guess, Moonbeam. He lets go of Rico and Rico starts shiverring. Skipper walks and looks at the penguin. Skipper: That voice, that steely gaze... The penguin does the exact same thing Skipper's doing. The penguin walks up to Skipper. Buck Rockgut: You sugar puffs just gonna stand there? Spill your tater tots. Where's the Red Squirrel? Skipper: The Red Squirrel? Then you really are Special Agent Buck Rockgut! Kowalski: The Buck Rockgut? Private: Um, is that... Is that someone famous, then? Skipper: Sweet, ignorant Private. Buck Rockgut is our greatest American-Penguin hero. I patterned my whole life after Rockgut. Kowalski: The bird who brought down Penguin Enemy Number One, the Red Squirrel. And, may I say, it is an honour, sir. Kowalski salutes him. Buck Rockgut slaps Kowalski. Buck Rockgut: Eighty-six the kiss up, Fauntleroy. Let's get to brass tax. Buck Rockgut walks away and leans on a crate where a spotlight shines on him. Buck Rockgut: I caught the Squirrel all right but Big Red broke out. Buck Rockgut grabs a folder containing info of the Red Squirrel. He throws the folder onto a table where a drawing of the Red Squirrel is shown in jail clothes and trapped behind bars along with some other pictures. Buck Rockgut: Disappeared into the underground, so that's what I did, too. Forty-seven years I've been down in this bunker waiting for the Red Squirrel to show his fluffy tail again! Forty-seven years! Private: Forty-seven years? Buck Rockgut: Forty-seven years! Private: Don't you think the Red Squirrel would've shown up by now? Skipper: Private! Buck Rockgut: College Boy, huh? You see that bunker door? It only opens when the Red Squirrel returns. Is it open now, Doughboy? Private: Yes. Buck Rockgut: Then Red is back. And you four lollipops are gonna help me find him. Kowalski: (excited) I get to work with Buck Rockgut! Skipper: (excited) I know, right? Rico giggles in excitement. Scene III: The Zoo Cafateria King Julien, Maurice, and Mort were on one of the cafateria tables. Julien: OK, so the guy on the street, he puts a little ball under one hat, like this. Julien holds a golf ball and there are two safari hats in front of him. Maurice and Mort were watching him. He grabbed his crown and put the golf ball on the table and then put his crown over it. Julien: Then he mix it, mix it so fast it's like you can't even see it. He mixes the hats and crown around very fast and then he finally stops. Julien: Then, stop. And now you can't tell which is the ball hat, can you? Julien laughs. Mort: Ohhhhhhh. Suddenly, Skipper grabs Mort's feet and drags him off the table and then throws him to Rico. Rico throws him high in the air. Mort screams and then crashes into the Zoovenier Shop. Then the penguins slide into the Zoovenier Shop and close the door. Unaware that Mort's missing, Julien continues on. Julien: And now, you give to me all of your money. Julien laughs. Julien: I love this game. Maurice picks up Julien's crown. Maurice: You sure you playing this right? Scene IV: Inside the Zooveneir Shop Mort was hung on a rope and was being dumped into a barrel of toys. Every time he came up he took a deep breath. Buck Rockgut: Where's the Red Squirrel? Mort spits from being under so much. Buck Rockgut: Bring him up. Kowalski and Rico were holding a fishing pole and brought Mort up to Buck Rockgut. Buck Rockgut: All right, Pigeon, sing for me. Mort: (singing) Uh, I don't know where the Red Squirrel is. He thinks of what to say next. Mort: But this one time I found a piece of red licorice. Private: I don't understand Skipper. Why would Mort know anything about the Red Squirrel? Skipper: You gotta think like Buck Rockgut, Private. Put your paranoia cap on. Private: I don't think I have a paranoia cap Skipper. Skipper: Well, there's your problem. Buck Rockgut continues his interrogation. Buck Rockgut: You don't know anything about the Red Squirrel, huh? That bushy tail of yours tells me different. He moves Mort's tail with his flipper. Buck Rockgut: Know who else has a bushy tail? The Red Squirrel! The penguins gasped in shock. Mort: Ah, it's true! I do have a tail! Mort holds his tail. Skipper: Sad Eyes a Squirrel's spy? (sigh) It's always the ones you least expect. Private: But, but... Then the door opened which inturrupted Private. It was Julien and Maurice looking for Mort. Julien: Ahhhh. There you are, Mort, you silly. Come, I must show you my newest street game. Eh... Who's the freak? Then Maurice and Julien were being dumped up and down inside the barrel of toys. Julien: I confess to everything. I took the last Nut and Nougat bar. I cheat at whistling. He hugs Maurice's bottom. He spits and then they were dumped in once again. Maurice comes up and struggles for air but Julien pushed im down so that he could get out of the toys for air. Julien: My father was not a talking water cycle. Skipper: This hardball stuff really works. Buck Rockgut: These snitches don't know anything. They're just small potatoes. Julien: He's right. I am secretly a potao. No, OK... No, that one was a lie. I just wanted to get the rops off. Category:Transcripts